The end (of work).

This is it. Today is my last day at work. Not just my last full day, or my last Thursday, but my last day ever.
I haven’t had a last day for 10 years, and my last “last day” was somewhat unexpected, at least because it came a month before I had intended it to. And it didn’t feel like a last day – not only because I didn’t know that it was at the time – but because I was just going to be doing the same thing, just working for myself, rather than working for someone else. But beyond that, nothing was different. Same clients, almost the same location (across the street!), same job, same work.

It’s been almost 15 years since I had a different job. The last time I had a different job, I was a jr. web developer.

Yesterday was hard. Even though I knew I was down to only two days at that point, I did not want to do it. I didn’t want to go. I hadn’t been at work for a week, and that plus the fact that I went to the UGE Workshop all day Saturday made me feel completely removed from that world. I have disconnected from my former life already. Today doesn’t feel so much dreadful, as it does surreal. And gleeful – it’s the last day!

It’s funny how we mark these milestones in little insignificant ways – I’ve been waiting to get rid of my “work clothes” since I was accepted into boot camp. I probably could have pretty much done it this last week, but I waited until today after I’d gotten dressed. And oddly, I think I’ll be keeping pretty much everything I happen to have on today, besides the ratty tank top I have on under this top. I still have more to get rid of. There’s still more to go through, and some things I just haven’t decided on yet. I probably should just get rid of anything I’m on the fence about – I haven’t worn any of the things I put in that pile for ages, but I guess there is the idea that I now have the opportunity to wear those pieces differently? I dunno. How mundane is this? But it’s a big deal to me.

This means only three days until school starts after today. Three busy days, so I’m assuming they will fly by. I’m glad I got to go to the workshop, otherwise I’d be a lot more nervous. Why? Dunno. It’s inexplicable. Maybe it’s excitement in disguise. I guess there’s always the fear that it will be more difficult than I think, or that at the end, somehow things won’t work out. I’m definitely nervous about managing day-to-day life.

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